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On Methods and Judgment

People judge. It’s what we do. We stand and look at a clothes rack choosing between two shirts. Which one is the right color? The right price? The right size? Judgment.

The trouble is when we give and receive judgment to and from human beings. And not just any judgment. The kind of judgment that says, she uses that brand of diapers? She lets her kids eat those kinds of snacks? She uses that homeschool curriculum?

These kinds of judgments are method judgments. They’ve nothing to do with principles. You know, on principle we care for the physical needs of children. We feed them. We teach them.

But there’s no “right” way. There’s no way that any person could ever evaluate all possible choices, in all possible price ranges, and all possible outcomes for one particular person or family. To say that someone else is feeding or clothing or diapering or educating their child wrong (or at least in a Highly Inferior Manner) is to show an utter lack of humility about one’s own lack of infinite knowledge.

We make the best choices we can with the time, energy, knowledge, skill and resources we have. And people will judge us. But we don’t have to accept their judgment like we accept a gift. We don’t have to take it in our hands and hold it and keep it in a special place in our hearts.

Accept judgment like accepting the loud train the rumbles down the track near your house. It exists. You hear it, but you sort of learn to tune it out.

And don’t judge. Let that mom have her method. Love her.

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